Venus

           The Venus de Milo, a historical misnomer corrupted by art historians who considered Roman identification more scholarly and therefore Romanized many Greek masterpieces. So, we’re actually considering Aphrodite of Milos by Alexandros of Antioch on the Meander in the second century BC. Furthermore, the statue is carved from Parian marble which is only quarried on the Greek island of Paros.

            After two thousand years, we still have questions. Was Milos an artist’s colony importing Parian marble? Were additional masterpieces exported from Milos, making Milos a wealthy trading center? How did she lose her arms? Will we ever find similar masterpieces buried beneath the rubble of subsequent inhabitants? 

            All good questions, but the most interesting questions will never be answered. What was Aphrodite thinking, given the pose we know and other possibilities when she had arms?

            After having started the marble carving in the summer, the work continued into the winter months. As temperatures dropped, so did the appeal of being half naked. 

Can you work a little faster, it’s cold out here.  

            The marble hand the farmer found next to statue held an apple. We can assume the hand belonged to the statue, from which we can surmise several responses.

            If we’re through for the day, can I eat this apple?

            Or, 

            If you ask for more, I’ll throw your apple at you.

            Or,

            Watch yourself, you know I hold the Golden Apple of Discord.

            And,

            Yes, I held the fate of Troy in this hand.

            Her robe and state of dress could suggest even more speculation. Like all fathers, Zeus tried to instill respectability in his heirs. 

            Oh yeah, if my father could see me now.

            Continuing on,

            As soon as you get the olive oil ready, I’ll get out of these rags.

            More,

            Yeah, thanks, I like them too.

            And,

            No, you can’t touch them.

Then she dangled a bra from her fingers.

            You’ve got to be kidding; I’m not wearing this thing.

            And,

            How am I going to let my hair down without a comb or brush.

            Or,

            Does this make me look fat?

She came from an interesting family.

            What about my sisters?

            And,

Yeah, they have a pair like this, but they know nothing of teasing and tempting.

            Continuing,

            I am the goddess of love.

            Finally,

            What’s special about the Parthenon? They built temples for all of us.

So, there you are, all you ever wanted to know about Venus de Milo.

Jim Halverson, 2025